Happy Anniversary (to me).

It has been one whole year since the cancer debacle. 


I don't have cancer, nor do I mean to make light of the disease in any way. 


This is the one year anniversary of being told that I AM a cancer. Those words still sting. They were told to me by someone I trusted and respected. I was told that I was the only one with any issues and that I was welcome to leave if I couldn't get with The Program. 


I was devastated. I came home crying the Ugly Cry and continued crying for about two days. I had never been spoken to like that EVER. I replayed the conversation in my head incessantly for days. My husband was invaluable and unwavering in his support of me. Our school counselor acted on my behalf as well. My teammates comforted me and if it weren't for them I might have quit my job mid-year.


I can't believe it's been a year already. I hoped I'd be 'over it' by now. I guess I am, but then again it affects me daily. 


After The Talk I sought help through a career counselor online. I truly thought I must be in the wrong career if, after 12 years,  I was comparable to a dreaded life-threatening disease. She was amazing and helped me see that although I didn't want to make my unhappiness about The One Who Shall Not Be Named....in the end it was. My husband helped me with that epiphany too. His suggestion? "Why don't you just transfer?" Hello??? How simple it sounded! 


After digesting the idea of a transfer and all the ways it would impact our family, I went for it. Fate has a way of helping things along and 2 weeks before school started I found myself at a very different school. I love it. My children love it. I have great teammates and a fantastically supportive and fun-loving principal. I'd never have found this new home if it hadn't been for The Talk.


Perhaps sometimes we have to be kicked from the nest in order to learn to fly?? I didn't enjoy the kick, but the flying is magnificent.

Speech?

My principal offered me the microphone and I should have humbly waved it away and just said, "Thank you." However, I am a bit of a ham and couldn't resist the chance to address our faculty. 

I've worked at this school for only a month and a couple of fantastic co-workers nominated me for this month's Crystal Apple Award. I didn't even know what the award was when the AP was soliciting nominations. Apparently teachers write nice things about coworkers and the AP reads the nice things at the meeting and then a decision is made on which one person receives a lovely little crystal apple WITH their name engraved on the base. Sweet, right??


I was super surprised to hear the AP read one nomination for me, but then when she read the second one I seriously teared up. 


I approached the principal who offered me the microphone, which I took. So....what I said was something like, "I love this school, it isn't like this everywhere, I've worked at 5 schools, I love my teammates." Really eloquent. NOT.


What I meant to say....
     
     In my relatively short career of 13 years, I've taught at 5 very different schools. It is apparent when you walk into a building where the focus is. From the moment I darkened the doorway at this place I have felt the love for the children. It's everywhere you look, but it is especially evident in the way the adults treat the children. 
     
     I noticed teachers hugging kids in the hallway during the first week of school and figured they were just glad to see each other after the long summer break. But no, this happens every day still and we're five weeks into school. At dismissal, it is difficult to exit the building because the teachers line the sidewalk and hallways and hug kids as they leave for home. 


     The principal is like a rock star - the kids absolutely swarm him wherever he goes. They hug him AND most importantly he hugs back and he looks them in the eyes and speaks to every one of them. 
     
     I've had to step up my game in order to live up to the standards set by these amazing teachers and administrators. One of the things mentioned in the nominations was that I'd been working on weekends and even Labor Day to be ready for my students. I put in the time because I would hate to let these people down. I'm not doing anything special or different than any of these other fine educators - I'm just trying to be one of them. 
     
     So, I thank you for the award. I cannot put into words how much it means to me to be recognized by my peers, especially when they're rock stars.

Why I was a Crappy Friend

As I drove home from attending two days of an education technology conference, I reflected on my time spent with friends this week. I worked at the registration table each morning and it was a joy to see so many friends - old and new - pass by. 

Last year was a hard year for me. I'd lost my teaching mojo. Despite the fact that I was working with my three bestest teaching pals and despite the fact that I have the world's best husband, I could barely get myself together to really enjoy my job at all. These fantastically understanding people kept me afloat, but just barely.

You see, I had a hole in my heart. And it was a big one. No matter how much love the people around me put into it, the leak was always faster. Oprah frequently talked about the Universe sending messages which would gradually get louder (and more painful) until acknowledged....I totally believe this now. I ignored the small messages over the last couple years and the Universe came a knockin' with its full force this year. Ultimately, it is my fault that I allowed this hole to grow (to form at all!)...but through this experience I have grown.

Flashforward to this week - I had lunch with a bestest teammate that I taught with at another school a few years ago and we discovered that we'd had similar experiences this year. I ended up buying her lunch and apologizing to her for being a crappy friend this year. Then it hit me...I wasn't ABLE to be a good friend to anyone this year (family included). She and I were both afloat on a sea of depression...paddling separately, barely keeping our chins out of the water. Neither of us was aware of the severity of the other's struggle - we'd only exchanged calls a couple times this year. I guess that should have been a sign for us both. When friends drop off your radar, you should probably check on them. This is a skill I'm working on.

Nothing cements my belief in teamwork more than my experiences this year. I was lost. My team held my hand and bolstered me every step of the way. They listened, encouraged, and dragged me along even when I wasn't being a good sport. I don't think I can ever repay them for walking through it with me.

With the start of a new school year fast approaching I find that my 'well' is once again full. I've been working with an awesome career counselor (I actually questioned my choice of careers this year!!) and she has helped me rediscover myself. I didn't need a new career - I needed to uncover the root cause of my dissatisfaction with my job and also how to keep my 'idea monkey' brain challenged. I uncovered truths about my situation, set goals, the planets aligned, I took the bull by the horns....etc., etc.!

Although I am sad that I will not be working with any of my previous bestest teammates this year, I am looking forward to finding bestest teammates at my new school. I know they're there....they are everywhere and I have mojo to share once again.

Are You a Team Player?

When I was in school I hated it when a teacher announced that we'd be working in groups. It was awful. It generally meant that I'd have two or three slackers assigned to my group and then I'd do all the work. I do not recall ever being given instruction on HOW to work in a group when I was in school. I can now say I am a reformed group worker. One of the absolute best things about the last two years of my teaching career has been the strong support of my teammates and working in a group.

We were thrown together sort of randomly a couple years ago and I had no idea how we would pull ourselves into formation. Thankfully, we had a scheduling crisis trying to accommodate the varying co-teaching schedules for English Language Learners and Early Intervention Program kiddos. Initially, we had kids going every which way, but when our super awesome Instructional Coach suggested departmentalization all the blocks fell neatly into place.

You'd think we would have had a marathon meeting-of-the-minds to determine who'd teach which subjects and who'd host which co-teachers. But no. The synergy was instantaneous. The subjects just sort of fell into the hands of the people who could best teach them.

For two years now we've had the privilege of practically reading one another's minds. It was the kind of team where you could just pop in and grab what you needed out of the other person's closet. (Easy for me to say because my teammates were WAY more organized than me!) We even had nicknames for one another based on our strengths. How cheesy is that?? Better yet...we called ourselves the Super Team and named our folders on the shared drive at school accordingly. This year's folder was named "We Rock 2010-2011".

I've taught on a couple of good teams over the last 12 years, but it's been sporadic. In my experience, it is rare to be on a team with the exact same people more than a couple years in a row. Things change from year to year - people move away, teachers get moved to different grade levels and even different schools. Our team had a good thing going for two years in a row, but this fall I'm the one moving to a new grade level.

I know all the peeps in the grade level I'm joining and I've taught fifth grade before so there aren't too many surprises in store. However, I haven't taught with this particular combination of people. It got me thinking about what made a team great or not-so-great.

Here are my top five ways to be a team player.

Step 1 - LISTEN! Be open to the ideas of others. I am an idea person and tend to rattle off tons of ideas. I NEED teammates who can help me filter and then decide which ideas to act on.

Step 2 - Share. If you've got something awesome (or even something mediocre!) I might want to try it too! Hey, you never know...you could save a teammate's day by offering up a lesson. Is there anyone who hasn't rolled out of bed on the wrong side at least once during the year and ended up late to work then suddenly realized...'Hey...what am I teaching today?'?!

Step 3 - Participate. If you're in a meeting with an idea person like me, it could be difficult to get a word in edge-wise. (If you are like me...this is a HUGE skill for us to work on - we must learn to stop and listen more than we talk.) I have never been in a meeting where an idea on the table wasn't made better by others adding their two-cents. Meetings are only a waste of time when you don't participate. (Grading papers while everyone else talks doesn't count as participation.)

Step 4 - Use humor & kindness generously. There have certainly been times when teammates have been irritated with me (I'm flighty & disorganized) and I with them for whatever reason. The best way of handling those situations was always head-on with humility and a sense of humor. By first admitting confusion or concern and then addressing the situation frankly we avoided ever having arguments or tantrums. If you find yourself in the wrong, be humble and apologetic. Chocolate can be the healer of many wounds.

Step 5 - Keep your door open. (Unless you're doing something loud!) There's something about approaching a closed classroom door that is discouraging (and somewhat suspicious). It's one thing if ya'll are up in there having a dance off to a multiplication song, but during the course of the day it's nice to see open doors. It gives a feeling of 'Come on in - see what we're up to!'. The only reason my door is ever shut is because a student shuts it - usually when I'm reading aloud and there's noise in the main hall from classes going to recess. If you're in a room with another adult and the door is shut you are sending the message that you want privacy. That's completely understandable if you are having a sensitive conference or you've got some serious thinking to do, but you can't tell me that's the case every afternoon!

I have high hopes for my team this year. It helps that I've been at this particular school for three years now. I've gotten to know people and I've gotten to know myself better. You can bet I'll be following the five rules above in hopes of being a part of the best team ever!

If you have tips that you think are important for creating a Super Team, please share them in the comments! My top five is by no means exhaustive. ;)