Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts

Monday, June 18, 2012

Neighbors...who wants 'em?

I am excited to participate in Teachers Write virtual writing camp hosted by author Kate Messner. If you haven't heard about it, check it out! Join in! 


Random word generator gave me the word: neighbor


What a loaded word for me. What is a neighbor? The official Merriam-Webster definition: one living or located near another. Well there's my problem. I always thought the definition included something about kindness, common sense, and friendship. 


Observe. To our right is the widow who forcibly removed the family that was involved in the lease-purchase of her home. Wouldn't have really mattered to us except for that family contained our son's best friend. Plus this lady is known to bring lawsuits against anyone who crosses her (I should probably delete this paragraph). We steer clear of her and her 2 yappy dogs (one of which bit me once). 


To our left is basically a vacant home. A couple years ago the owner had to leave for 9 months to work in Afganistan (non-military...I'm not bashing a noble and brave serviceman here). He left his 21 year old son and 19 year old daughter in charge of the home. Suddenly it was as if we were living next door to a nightclub. We frequently called the police due to the noise coming from that house at all hours of the night. When the father finally returned he ended up kicking out his son and the daughter ran off and got married, so now when daddy goes overseas the house is empty. And quiet, thank goodness. 


A few doors down is the home we refer to as "The Orphanage" because there are several children living there with minimal, competent adult supervision. The older ones can sometimes be seen sunbathing on the roof. They raise mastiffs which occasionally escape the cramped back deck where they live and crap and bark. They also enjoy four-wheelers and ride them without helmets or worry through the protected creek that runs behind our neighborhood. 


Across the street is the house that our good friends lived in. After living here almost 5 years I finally got the nerve to take our kids across the street to play with their kids. Soon we were spending Saturdays together, sharing dinners & drinks, and having a fantastic time. Work took them to Texas and they leased their home to another family that I'm sure is lovely, however...


New family across the street began allowing their dachshunds to wander around the neighborhood and use other yards as they saw fit. Of course our lawsuit-happy neighbor marched right over and warned them that she would call animal control. What's worse is that these people have five or six drivers living under one roof and they all have cars that they park. in. the. street. If you're a city-dweller where people always park in the street that's cool, but this is a big ol' neighborhood where everyone has a 2 car garage and nice, long drive way. We also have rules that clearly state 'vehicles shall not be parked on the street overnight'. But whatev....rules schmules.


Sure, there are nice, decent people living on the street. They mow their lawns, go to church, roll out their garbage containers, and go to bed at job-holding hours. But what about neighbors who are also friends? Growing up my parents never had neighbors who were also close friends. Neither did my husband's family. So maybe hubby and I are just not skilled in developing those relationships. 


Now that I've had a taste of it, I want it back. I want to live near people who have children close in age to our children. People who hang out in their yards, grill out on weekends, and enjoy a good adult beverage. People who you can count on to check and make sure you're garage is closed and water your houseplants. 


Or maybe we need to move to a place where we don't have any neighbors at all. I'd prefer no neighbors to bad ones. 


My reflection on this post: This was difficult to write and left me feeling cranky and completely worn out. The writing is passable, but in hammering these feelings out I realized how sad I am about the state of our neighborhood and how trapped we are in this situation. If only we could wave a magic wand and be in the house of our dreams surrounded by friends and family. 

Friday, July 29, 2011

Why I was a Crappy Friend

As I drove home from attending two days of an education technology conference, I reflected on my time spent with friends this week. I worked at the registration table each morning and it was a joy to see so many friends - old and new - pass by. 

Last year was a hard year for me. I'd lost my teaching mojo. Despite the fact that I was working with my three bestest teaching pals and despite the fact that I have the world's best husband, I could barely get myself together to really enjoy my job at all. These fantastically understanding people kept me afloat, but just barely.

You see, I had a hole in my heart. And it was a big one. No matter how much love the people around me put into it, the leak was always faster. Oprah frequently talked about the Universe sending messages which would gradually get louder (and more painful) until acknowledged....I totally believe this now. I ignored the small messages over the last couple years and the Universe came a knockin' with its full force this year. Ultimately, it is my fault that I allowed this hole to grow (to form at all!)...but through this experience I have grown.

Flashforward to this week - I had lunch with a bestest teammate that I taught with at another school a few years ago and we discovered that we'd had similar experiences this year. I ended up buying her lunch and apologizing to her for being a crappy friend this year. Then it hit me...I wasn't ABLE to be a good friend to anyone this year (family included). She and I were both afloat on a sea of depression...paddling separately, barely keeping our chins out of the water. Neither of us was aware of the severity of the other's struggle - we'd only exchanged calls a couple times this year. I guess that should have been a sign for us both. When friends drop off your radar, you should probably check on them. This is a skill I'm working on.

Nothing cements my belief in teamwork more than my experiences this year. I was lost. My team held my hand and bolstered me every step of the way. They listened, encouraged, and dragged me along even when I wasn't being a good sport. I don't think I can ever repay them for walking through it with me.

With the start of a new school year fast approaching I find that my 'well' is once again full. I've been working with an awesome career counselor (I actually questioned my choice of careers this year!!) and she has helped me rediscover myself. I didn't need a new career - I needed to uncover the root cause of my dissatisfaction with my job and also how to keep my 'idea monkey' brain challenged. I uncovered truths about my situation, set goals, the planets aligned, I took the bull by the horns....etc., etc.!

Although I am sad that I will not be working with any of my previous bestest teammates this year, I am looking forward to finding bestest teammates at my new school. I know they're there....they are everywhere and I have mojo to share once again.